Part one
Originally posted by 5000questionsur at Part oneummm lighter, hoodie, marshmellows. lol

Well as much as I didn't want to get rid of the twins jump-a-roos its time. Lucas is my nut case child and just keeps flipping him self out. I can't take the heart attacks anymore. This boy will be the death of me I swear. I wasn't wanting to get rid of them as they aren't even a year old and havn't been used that much. But its time, he rather be out and get into everything he is able to. He is one of a kind thats for sure. His twin sister is the good baby doesnt give her mommy any heart attacks. He just wants everything. I always kept saying they were such great infants but holy hell the time has come to keep me on my toes. I wouldnt have it any other way of course.
          So JJ my 4yo is able to understand verbally what you say to him, but isn't able to express himself. We had been waiting since September to get him into speech and he has been going for like 3 weeks now. He is doing pretty good, but still not the greatest. His speech teacher wants to see about another day for him to. She mentioned it to me the 1st day as she couldn't beilive he was as far behind as he was. Which he is very far behind. Anyways its hard to understand why he is. I guess thats just him. My almost 3yo daugher says alot compared to what he has even said up until now.
          Right now fiance is getting fries to go with dinner and my 5 and 4yo sons are driving me absolutley crazy. Like not wanting to do what I say. God save me. ERR sometimes I want to scream expecially when my 5yo will literally ignore me for no reason. He can be the death of me I swear. He tried to just tell me he had the cat in his shirt haah I knew better and sure enough he had cherries. :-/ ERRR lol My kids are something anyone who wants a million and a half? Think really hard sometimes its awesome having a big famiy othertimes you want to slam your head against a brick wall. I love my kids and I'd do anything but sometimes I need a break lol. Anyways I'm out for now I will talk to everyone soon again!!! Have a great day everyone!!


30 day challenge-Day 2 20 facts
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20 facts about me!!

1. I'm 27 years old.
2. I have 7 kids which 2 are step.
3. I'm a CNA
4. I live in upstate Ny and will probably always stay here.
5. My dream job will always to be a teacher with little kids which I hope to still make come true.
6. I will always love the show Degrassi.
7. Dance moms is a must watch for me
8. I am deathly afraid of mice
9. I will keep all my emotions inside and not tell anyone how I feel.
10. I danced from when I was 4 years old until I graduated highschool. I miss it sometimes.
11. I Have never had alot of friends.
12. I don't get as offended as must people do with questions about twins. Like Are they twins. I think its cool how interested people are in them.
13. I worry over stupid stuff.
14. My brain never wants to shut off and I can stay awake almost all night over thinking things.
15. I rather stay inside my house then go places.
16. I also love law in order SVU another fav show of mine.
17. My fav movie of all times and I'd never think it could come in second of anything is Euro trip.
18. I lost my vaginity at 18 and I only did it so I wouldnt feel so weird at college.
19. I was always the person to say I'd never do this or that but did. Like smoking cigs and I have tried pot when I was younger.
20. I always thought I was in love with the guys I was with. But I have came to know there is only one guy I have ever truly feel in love with and thats my fiance. The rest were all just blah!!!


This was actrually hard lol never notice how hard it is to come up with 20 facts about yourself!! lol

Going to try the 30 day Challenge with being new maybe others will get to know me
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(I cant get the image so post the site maybe it will show up?) Anyways my blogs name is my name. I chose it as something simple cause not sure where I'm going for sure with this yet. Mostly as a mother I wanted a place to just write my day down and reflect so for now I just decided to go with my first name Sarah and my last names Ramsey but in high school my best friend always spelt it Ramz and called me by it. IT stuck and well I still sometimes use it online to this day!!! Well like I said this could be fun with just starting in all get others to get to know me some more then just my regular posts from everyday!!


Maybe I will post alot?
Anyways I'm going to be annoying perhaps to some as I just want to have a place to just write. I have to ask anyone else ever just feel its better to have strangers read about your life then those you know? I don't know I dont like those I know to see whats going on in my life if that makes sense. I rather some stranger read about me. Sad part strangers reading my journals don't judge either. Maybe its because they see things happen in life and no ones perfect. But anyways sometimes I just like to talk about nothing really interesting either. haha my life can be pretty boring. But then again sometimes it can be interesting. :-)

Omg the girl actrually made a post in the group about the whole deal. Like this is why I never post in facebook groups to many idiots who think they are so perfect. You know until you are in the situation then you should just shut up. But now they are just talking trash about me. Sad part this is why I dont even go on facebook that much anymore. In all honestly I feel its just a bunch of people who think they are so perfect. Maybe this will become more of my go to in life. I don't know just sometime when you want to talk well you try and get bashed. Yet if they did omg theyd be crying. But whatever err just had to vent quick sorry. lol

So been waiting since I mailed out court papers last month to get the date of court in the mail. Well finally it came today. I am finally happy as ever. My 1st sons sperm donor will have to pay all of what he owes which is $5,500 something or he goes to jail. He hasn't even paid me since April of 2013. Not to mention last year we went to court to try to get payments lowered. Well I wouldn't go for it, because he didnt show effort to me that he was even trying to get a job. So I faught it. Well we went back in May of 2014. I showed up when honestly I should have been the one to forget as I just had the twins at the end of March and my life was crazy. No he didn't because he was working under the table and hadnt tried to find a job. Well funny part was it ended up being in my favor after all anyways. He didn't get the payments lowered. Also I want to say he couldnt bring it back for a bit after to also get the payments lowered again. If I knew he was trying to find a job I would probably let it go and let the payments go lower. But since I know all he does is sit on his ass and do nothing well sorry but no I just can't. It makes me angry, like he could work but he just doesnt want to try knowing he will have to pay me. Well just cause he doesnt want to be a daddy isn't my fault. He needs to grow up and take on some responsibility. Crap I'd find paying for a kid I never take care of and that only being $80 something every 2 weeks easy as ever. I mean even 1 kid when I did do it on my own I was always spending more then that. Yea so he doesnt wear diapers anymore but there is still things he needs you know? Anyways posted in a group on facebook about it and holy hell I got told by one chick I should have known befor I slept with him that he wouldnt pay. Well ok but how do you know you will be left on your own? You don't. I didnt think he'd leave me to raise our son on our own. I didnt think he wouldnt try and see him. Err some people think just cause hey your in the best relationship and nothing went wrong ever that lifes so perfect. Well life isn't always butterflies and rainbows. Not every relationship is perfect. I mean if I knew my 1st sons father would have done all this? Yea trust me I'd have never slept with him. lol I honestly wasn't even trying to have a baby. I mean things happen thats life. I grew up and did what I was to do. I even looked for a better job then what I had and got it. Then from there I have gotten one that was better where I can get the hours I need. I'm per diem now that I had the twins but befor I was full time cna at a nursing home. Befor that I worked in the IRA hourse for same company for adults with Disiabilities. But you know what life you never know whats going to come your way trust me. I have been thrown so many shocking things and have always came out on the top with a smile and able to say I did it. My 1st son as scared as I was I did it. My life now? Yea perfect sometimes but we struggle at times to the point where I am ready to give up but yet I don't. Well you know what I can't cause why give up? You may never know what good tomorrow will bring. Life cant be perfect. It has to throw you hard times otherwise you'd never survive. NEVER. I have never had the most perfect life ever growing up. Trust me I havn't.
Lets go back when I was younger I was never popular. Never had many friends, always made fun of in school. Trust me it hurt and I didn't want to see the next day. But guess what I did. Guess what if I didn't I'd never know my babies or fiance. I wouldnt have what I have today. Am I glad? Hell yea its called surviving. I hated who I was hated how I looked, hated everything about myself. I have always had a low self esteem. But guess what ? I don't care anymore. Its not about that kind of stuff its more then looks. Besides all that in school everyday for years my dad got remarried to the most evil person you'd ever meet. My step mom, we moved in when I was in 11th grade. She hated me, I could never do right. I also could never dress right. I was an odd person I won't lie. I loved hot topics and the old school cartoon character rainbow bright etc. That who I was. But no I had to be the prep aero hollister etc. Well guess what I was working for what I bought to wear, I couldnt even afford that stuff. They wouldnt but it for me. Then get this finally got out of that hell in 2006 and went off to college to come back the following summer of 2007 to be told to ask my mom if I could stay there. So lived with my mom for awhile until I met the idiot I mentioned above. MY point life happens and life can be evil. Life can almost make you break to a point where you may never return. But sometimes you just have to learn to live day to day and just be glad you are here. I guess what i'm saying is no one can say they will be with the person they are with now 10 years down the road. My mom and dad were like perfect together but mymom loves to fight and didnt last. Well see you just never know, wish people would see that no one is perfect. Life comes into play and it will hit you hard when you don't expect it to. In all honesty? I was thinking of joining the airforce with my brother a few months befor I found out I was pregnant with my 1st and or thinking of going back to school. But guess what? My life had other plans and I think its because I had to meet my fiance. I think back and sometime wonder if I went a different path but then think I wouldnt be here today. Instead of thinking about the past? Think and be happy that whatever happens makes your future what it is. It makes the present what it is, if whatever happened 5 years ago didnt happen well you probably wouldnt be where you are today. I always think of these things and see I should stop because I wouldnt be here today. Maybe more should see it that way. Anyways Im out for now just frustrated that some don't see that you never know what tomorrow will bring.

My mornings are so hectic its not funny. Wake up 6:45am wake older 3 up for school. Yell cause today they wanted to be snails. Then feed the other 4. But 1st change them etc. lol its like nonstop hours it seems and I just want to scream. But todays been nuts. Like my 4yo and 2yo decided to take a trip into the attic. Like really come on, don't have time. Twins were crying to get up and eat and those 2 just want to drive me crazy. Love them I do but good lord lol. Anyways shower time for me will write later!!

Better Mood
Anyways let me introduce myself. I'm 27 years old from upstate ny. A tiny place called Ogdensburg. I have 5 kids of my own and 2 step. My step are 13 yo girl named Selena, 9yo boy name Hunter. My 5yo will be 6 August 11th 2009. I had him befor I got with my fiance. His father isn't in his life. Has been maybe a few times. But yea, my fiance and I meet the end of July 2010. I was scared to really give it ago. But guess what? I did and we have had 4 kids together. (Yea 5 kids in like 5 years crazy huh?) Well first there is Jordan which we call him JJ he is 4 yo his birthday just passed May 4th. Then Izzy (Izabella) she is 2yo she will be August 24th. Then last but not least (wait for it you will catch how I have 5) there is my sweet 14 month old boy girl twins. Anneleise and Lucas. Awe yes those two were the hugest shock and blessing of my life. I never thought I'd have twins. (Really don't think anyone does and please don't just wish you could have a set cause I will think you are the craziest person ever.) Love them darely I do but they are at the active stage and keep you busy. One can be into one thing the other into something else. (double trouble? perhaps its a true statement.) I can tell you I have heard so many funny things but I'm a nice person and don't let it get to me. (Crap I probably would have been just as dumb if I didn't have my own set.) Well I am I was at BJS (you know the store not the sexual thing) and there was this set and of course not thinking "Are they twins?" (DUH of course they are) but I just was curious I was pregnant with mine so I just had to ask some questions. (Who wouldnt? Trust me I'm a pretty honest person and go with the flow with the questions now) I did get upset once was at Wal-mart and this lady walked by with her 1 yes 1 child, and goes to this child "Look twins." I of course smiled to myself twins make you a celebrity. But then her next statement o my god it pissed me off. She goes to her child as she was a bit away "that sucks." What? Sorry nope my sweet twins do not suck. So thats where I get that twins are not for everyone. I feel that you get a set when god feels he knows you can handle them. I don't know why I was chosen sometimes. But when I see the smile they give me life makes sense. I guess you can say having twins in reality showed me this otherside of love that I didn't know. Like there is the love you feel when you have your child. Thats true love, but twins true love I swear is even better then what we experience. Mine fight alot but when they aren't near eachother they cry at night. They love having the other one there with them. Mine also love to have a nightly chat about who knows what. But they are cute.
So going to talk about my almost 6yo. I was a single mom for almost the 1st year of his life. It was hard but that little guy changed me for the better. His father never wanted him. He told me to get an abortion but I just couldn't. He told me o kids are alot of work. Like duh what you think they are like a puppy? But I didnt get the abortion and went through the pregnancy and birth and up to now without his sperm donor. He hasnt even paid child support in like 3 years. But I did hand in violation of support papers so we should be going back soon. He was seeing him for a few weeks then stopped. They were supervised visits but i let him take him on his own until he started complaining on how I should force my 2yo (he was 2 at the time) to take a nap.needless to say I snapped and told him he could see him with me around again. Well he decided he wasnt going to see him anymore. That same weekend I got done a day at work and was going to work a midnight that night for someone so went home to sleep. Fiance took his 2 kids and Coby who was 2 and JJ who was like 3 months at the time to the park so I could sleep. Well Coby mind you was 2 toddlers fall all the time and love objects to run into and fall over. They are clumsy, anyways make a long story short Joe (my fiance) was holding JJ (who was 3 months) and Coby was looking at geese flying and tripped over the teter totor thing and Joe put JJ down and ran fast. He came home and I was up anyways (mothers interision) its exists I had a feeling something happened but blew it off but there he was Said he thought coby broke his arm. So off to the er i went. I texted his father to let him no. Get this he told me I should learn to watch my kid and he was calling cps on me. He did cause troopers went to the house while I was at the er. they laughed my fiance told me. So guess what his father hasnt seen him at all since September of 2011. Sad isn;t it? yea really it is. But guess who he blames? Me and my family. haha it was his fault plus if he wanted to see him hed have taken me to court right? Nope only to get child support lowered. Which I faught since he got fired omg 3 4 years ago now and has yet to get a job. He doesnt even try. lives off welfare, yup I pay for his ass to be lazy lovley when he should be paying me to help me. He wants to pay $25 a month but funny cause he wouldnt even pay that I doubt it. He is up to oweing me almost $6,000 and when we go to court he has to have $5,500 or so or goes to jail. So Im guessing by the time we even go he will be oweing me another $1,000 in back if he even pays me what he owes me. Which Im sure he will say I dont let him see his son. haha he doesnt even try. I dont see where I should have to try to force him to see his son. Its his responsibility. I don't wake up and force anyone to tell me to see and take care of my kids its natural and its how it should be. Anyways enough here.
Now my 4yo JJ he is a sweet goof ball. He can drive me nuts, but he is a good boy most of the time. Loves to cuddle hes a mamas boy for sure. Always has been and probably always will be. Hes the shy kid. He is in speech theapy to help him talk. He can understand you just doesnt no how to expres himself. So we are getting there. He is in head start homebase this year. Next year he will be at the center. :( yes I'm sad in a way no more morning cuddles with my buddy. He also wears glasses. He has a lazy eye and his sights pretty bad to. He has broken 3 pairs already since he got them. lol He can be a brat like I said haha. But he's a cutie.
Now my 2yo almost 3yo. Izabella aka Izzy aka Tuna (dont ask its stuck) and Bumble (she has lots of names) But she has the most bubble personality ever. Shes literally my mini me minus I have brown eyes she has blue. But compare pics from when I was little with her you'd think we are the same person. Shes tiny as ever. Very short but dont let it fool ya. She could beat you right up. Shes evil and I think thats what I love. She don't take anyones crap. I hope she stays that way. But yet she can be the most cuddliest little person ever. She loves to snuggle with us. She says byebye the cutest way ever. She is in love with Dora, and Frozen. Let it go is her theme song I swear. lol But people fall in love with her instantly I swear. I should have known she was going to be crazy and want life her way. When I was in labor with her I just made it to the hospital pretty much just in time. Even when they tried to send me home, trying to say I wasn't in labor. She was my 3rd kid I knew what labor was trust me. lol even if Coby was induced. But my water ended up breaking like 20 minutes of being there. And befor I knew it even if I was half dead to the world as I was up for like 24 hrs and was ready to sleep. I thought I seriously had to poop. But then it clicked she was coming. So told nurse I had to push. They kept telling me not to. So I didnt. (my dr wasnt even anywhere close yet) He lived like hr or so from the hospital so it took him sometime. I should have went up earlier not thinking lol. But anyways I wasn't even pushing and guess who decided they were coming into the world and didnt care if anyone was ready or not. That'd be her. She literally slid out on her own with the contractions. I felt the ring of fire. (yea hate that part) I let the nurses know but they ignored me they werent even set up. Well surpise for them (they didnt want to deliver her as they already worked a double. They just wanted to go home.) Well I said something to my mom and she picked up the blanking and hey look it was Izzy. My mom said something and finally they heard her. lol (I tried to tell everyone multiple times) No one could get over she was here so fast. I couldnt either. I was shocked. She was tiny even at birth 5#15 oz. I adored her instantly. Her personality from day 1 has never changed. She wanted in to the world when she wanted and didnt care what anyone else had for plans. And she was my easiest birth ever. She still wants things her way at her time and she doesnt care what you think. She will tell you. Shes going to be my trouble maker as keeping me on my toes in life.
The twins Lucas and Anneleise. Lucas was baby A was always baby A never swithced with his sister there. They tried to come early at 34 weeks. Funny part was Anneleise was head down alone with Lucas from 28 weeks until 34 weeks when she flipped breech that monday of my weekly ultrasounds. Well that friday she was head down again. but they stopped my labor and when i went to my weekly ultra sound that monday she was breech again. She stayed to. So had them march 27th schedruled csection. Lucas was first baby a 5#9oz 17 inches he was my tinest baby. Then Annie was 5#15oz 17 inches. They have stayed the same length pretty much all the time which is funny. But anyways Lucas nickname is Bear and Anneleise is Annie, they have such oppisite personalities which is funny cause i swear they swapped them once. When newborns Annie was the more do things first and outgoing mean baby. Lucas was the layed back lazy baby. Then switched Lucas is outgoing crazy keeps you on your toes almost gives you heart attacks and loves to neat his sister up. He crawled befor her so he'd crawl ontop of her sit on her and everything. Ive taken pics of him getting out of his chair which is like a bouncer thing and got out from the straps which were tight and sat on his sister. he is nuts. He has also flipped out of his jumper roo to get out and get into trouble. He will get his legs out of it and stand in it to. :( lol Annie on the other hand crawls now but doesnt pull her self up to stand yet shes not ready. She will soon I know she will. But she prefers the lazy life and cuddle. But anyways out for tonight. Write again tomorrow maybe. Explain more of my family!!! Pretty much what I will always write about as thats what I'm always doing anyways


Sometimes life just isn't easy. What drives me crazy is how my mother think we just mess around with our money. Not even close, we just honestly have hit a hard spot and right now it sucks. I know its going to get better we just have to make it through this hard spot and thats it. But some people don't see that. They just think we don't know what we are doing. Well we are making it. Day to day yea but once we get to this friday and get the loan paid to half way we can take out the $10,000 say good bye to rent a center once and for all. Trust me that will make it easier thats for sure. Anyways I'm out for now just had to vent a bit I guess. Kind of miss doing this lol I don't even expect others to read just a place for me to vent and let what I feel out.



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