Life as a Parent never boring
Double trouble? hahaha sure why not I'll take it now. 14 months going to be 15 on the 27th. Annie and Lucas sweet babies. Lucas is actrually the devil in disguise I swear to god. Annie loveable as can be. Well yesterday Lucas puts his finger in her mouth. (totally innocent babies discovering eachother I know) Well Annie bit him and he screamed i sat there laughing yes I'm a bad mommy but after all he sits on her stands on her, so payback? But made me think of Charlie you bit me. Then this morning I get them ready Lucas easy diaper on. Grab Annie go to take diaper off and yea well it wasnt there. I was confused, the diaper taker offer? Lucas as he enjoys taking them off. I wasnt told about this crap. lol

Brings me to this story your a parent the words that come out are things you never thought you'd say. My 2yo used the litter box yup pooped in it. Yea never thought Id ever say no pooping in the litter box. Life as a parent its crazy things that come out can be scary. So share in comments of things you have said. I know I can give more lol But cant think right now.


Rachel Platten - Fight Song (Official Lyric Video)
Cant help but love this song right now. Its like the perfect song for me. I just listen when I want to give up on everything. 

When will life give me a break
Ok I get that life can be shitty but come on now. Its like been nonstop for a month pretty much. Thought it was a turn around this weekend. Boy was I ever wrong as usual. Bam here you go lets throw another curveball at you. No I can't handle much more this shitty crappy stuff. I need a break I need life to just be normal you know? But god thats never going to happen I swear. I'm literally at the point now where I just want to run away from everything. Its like I will never catch a break ever. Of course this all has to happen just 3 weeks befor we go to court to. ERR now its making not even look forward to that. Cause the way my lifes been going I swear nothing good will come from that day. Expecially if he goes to jail because he will probably not be alone so there goes people who bring him angry at me. I will probably end up being attacked over the shit. I'm sorry just latley I don't know what to do anymore you know? Its like theres not break anywhere for me anymore. Someday I guess there will be until then I just take what lifes throwing my way. I just hope with all this crap that once things get better they stay that way for a while. Cause I just don't know if I can handle the shit nonstop anymore. I've never wanted to just break down and cry as much as I have latley.


30 day challenge day 8- 5 current goals!!
So 5 current goals for myself would be.

  1. Get all bills paid on time and not forget any.

  2. Try to keep kids on picking up stuff (older ones anyways)

  3. Have more fun in life try to do stuff with just the fiance.

  4. Continue to try at least 3 days a week at work when I pick up.

  5. Try to make a list when going grocery shopping.

30 day challenge day 7-5 fav songs!!! Plus a few other words I'm thorwing in haha
So for 30 day challenge today is 5 favorite songs.
   1. Time of Your life-Green day
   2.Concrete angel
   3. Really anything country
   4. 90s music
   5. Its hard to have favs cause I just love music lol

Anyways so worked last night wasn't really bad. But havn't worked in 2 weeks since the same weekend 2 weeks ago lol. SSince hten 6 residents died and well they got like that many new ones. So it was totally different. I thought one resident was a family member. Then that resident literally scared the crap out of me while I went to the bathroom and came out there she was. OMG I jumped, lol but 2 of the new ones in my group I had were realy awesome and nice. I enjoyed them had a great conversation with them and what not. It wasn't to bad of a night just felt like I'd never get out.The group I had was one of the hardest on the floor and yea it takes time thats for sure. At the end of the night we just got done run (checking the residents to see if they need to be changed) well I filled one of the residents cups up with ice for them, and the nurse on went off on me trying to say I didn't do one of the residents care. Haha funny I did way earlier on in the night. I had changed his shirt just didn't change his pants he didn't have many and wasn't leaving him short the next day. Swear sometimes these nurses just don't get it. If they'd just not sit on their asses when they work they'd get it. Instead maybe they should get off their asses and try to do our job they'd be shocked. Its not as easy as they think. Not to mention she ran out the nurse did for like 25 minutes and left me and the other cna in my hall way with me at the nurses station the whole time so we couldn't do care. We instead had to keep two of the residents from standing and grabbing at everything. Then this girl and I put the one in bed as no one else had done that yet. Then we put another in bed and were answering lights non stop. Funny isnt it? But yet we weren't doing anything. Yea cause I totally sat on my ass all night. No more like did care took care of residents at the station and also answered lights while the other cnas ignored the crap. ERRR pisses me off. Well I'm out for now going to eat lunch then head to work for another 330-11 shift. YAY me. haha O yes my 5yo Coby lost his first baby tooth today!! Tooth fairy visits him tonight.!!


30 day challenge day 6 -what im afraid of
What I am afraid of is something happening to any of my children. Thats what Im afraid of, I would probably go nuts if anything happens to any of them. !!! But this is it for today! Well for now I have to work later 330-11 so maybe I will write tonight when I get done. Depends I guess.


30 day challenge
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My dream job will always to be a special education teacher. But right now isn't the time to do this. I feel that I will eventrually get there someday I hope.
Then my produst moment is when I became a mom. It was the best feeling I ever experience and I got to experience that feeling 4 times (with 5 kids set of twins lol) But I feel that I had made so many mistakes in my life but my babies don't care. They love me and I instantly feel in love with them the day I found out I was pregnant with them. My 1st was a bit of a sturggle being pregnant as I was scared to death so the loving at the first time finding out wasn't the same as my others but when I had him he changed my life. I feel in love and couldn't ever imagine my life without him. And that little boy made me grow up fast even if I was 21 I was still young he wasn't something I had planned but I wanted him. He made me realize love was a real thing.

        So to add on to this entry now that I started I never really understood love I always felt betrayed more then anything by everyone in my life. My parents just didn't seem to understand and always be there for me. My mom left us with my dad when we were young like I was 7 my brother was 6. So I felt like she didn't care cause she never tried to see us, left it up to us. So I just felt like she didn't care you know? Then I always had my dad always. He was everything to me, until my step mom came along. Then from there I felt like nothing or anything I did was good enough for him anymore. I was a failure in his eyes. I'm still the same failure today as I was when I was 16. I feel like my parents tell me they love me but they don't really know how to? Make sense? Like I feel you should love your child no matter what failures they make. No one is perfect and everything your child does you dont have to like but you should never judge your child just on mistakes they make. They learn from them I have. I feel that my father honestly can't love me like he once did. I feel that I just don't meet my step moms expectations so I just can't be good. If that makes sense. With my mom its just I can't feel the perfect closeness because of everything. My sister doesn't help when she is 17 mind you, but she always has to be there. She is jealous if my mom even comes over to see me and my kids. Idk it makes no sense. I have learnt so much from what has happened to me in my life that I'd never do the same to my children ever. My kids will always come first and will always be my number 1 over anything. But I guess that just makes me a better person who sees that their kids are more then anything else in this world. Like my job yea I'd rather be broke then my kids not get the help they need you know? lol btw thats another story but I'm out because I'm sosoo hungry and my food should be here soon. lol Well going to do this 30 day challenge right now and I will def. do it tomorrow good to know I only missed one day yesterday.


Going to walmart a bit ago and this semi almost ran a stop sign and hit me. I literally had my life flash infront of me and was scared shitless. I thought my life was done and over with. I honestly thought this is it I didn't even say goodbye to anyone. God let me tell you I really hate driving these days. Everytime I'm alone I swear I have a hit me sign on my van. I don't get it.
  Anyways today has been a lot better then the rest of my freaken week was. It was payday and now it seems like things are just well going better for once. lol But did get news yesterday that my all time favorite show degrassi is ending after this season and I'm sad about that. That show was my everything when I was in school. It may sound odd but that show helped me out alot. Made me not feel so weird and that I could survive school.
        Well today I got the twins a cute outfit each. Lucas got this cute one piece summer camo outfit with a bear on the front which I love since his nicknames bear and the back was him to a tee it said wild child. lmfao love it, then Annie got this cute summer outfit to and i got my 2yo the same one. But they loved them. Anyways sorry its short Im out on this going to catch up on my 30 day challenge in 1 entry Ive been slacking oppps

All Time FAV show
I have to admit I will always love Degrassi and I dont care if I'm 27 and still watch it. I have just watched it since I was like 10. I watched the original degrassi way back when to. So tried to catch up today since July starts the new ones again. Didnt see I was 2 seasons behind lol but yea it is the best show ever. It is the only show to discuss topics that happen in real life. Only show where the kids look normal. Hate how everyone is perfect in every other show I have ever seen. So anyways just had to say. talk soon


O and just incase anyone reads this and loves it as much as I do come join the new community I created!!!

30 day challenge day 2
So todays is my favorite quote. I've alway been a fan of "Everything happens for a reason." I feel that if some things never happened then I wouldnt be where I am today..... Just always been my reason for like everything. Well I'm out for now write later



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